Dove ([info]hija_paloma) wrote,
@ 2009-05-22 17:42:00
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Current mood:irritated
Entry tags:merlin, meta

MOAR LETTERS.
Dear Merlin Fandom,

Oh my god. You know who is totally fat? Bradley James. No, I know! It's crazy how he walks around looking like a totally normal person, pretty standard 20-something white guy, and yet he is somehow secretly a giant fucking whale, only noticeable when he is wearing eleventy jillion pounds of armor and padding. He must be taking lessons from David Hewlett or something, amirite?


Photobucket

I wonder what I'm thinking. I wonder if I'm thinking about what a lardass I am?


It's come to my attention that sometimes, people don't REALISE they're fat unless we ridicule and shame them, so I have a super-awesome idea. Let's make sure to mention in every single fic we write about how Arthur is fat, or Bradley is fat, or they were fat as babies, or they're fatter than Colin Morgan/Merlin but he loves him anyway blah blah JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE.

It was bad enough in SGA, and David Hewlett actually has, like, fat cells in his body. Keep it up in Merlin and I'm relegating you ALL to Gossip Girl fandom.

DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT.


(7 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]xzombiexkittenx
2009-05-22 10:58 pm UTC (link)
You know, I only saw two episodes so I never realized what a total blimp he was. That picture really showed me though, eh. Man must weigh what? 200lbs? In armour. What a lardass. Yeesh.

(ps. Seriously? They're saying that guy is fat? Are they insane/blind/smoking the bad crack)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]hija_paloma
2009-05-23 12:20 pm UTC (link)
It's not like people are making posts saying "HOLY COW BRADLEY JAMES, WHAT A FATTIE" (or if they are, I'm not seeing them, and I'm NOT going looking) but it keeps cropping up, over and over again in fic. Which is enough to make a girl lose her cool.

I think mostly it comes from a) standing next to Colin Morgan and b) when he wears all his armor etc., he is significantly larger. Because he's wearing eleventeen pounds of armor and padding.

Sigh.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]dangerousfred
2009-05-22 11:15 pm UTC (link)
I think you should stab a couple of people. That will let the rest know you're serious.

(Reply to this)


[info]doolabug
2009-05-22 11:50 pm UTC (link)
Wait. What? WHAT??!?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]hija_paloma
2009-05-23 12:22 pm UTC (link)
Look, I told you the show was good, I promised you nothing about the fandom.

Go friend [info]franticsga, she's good people, and posts Colin Morgan picspam. She's the one writing that Iraq AU I was telling you about.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]franticsga
2009-05-23 01:11 am UTC (link)
*drags you away from portions of fandom where FFBJ is considered fat*

BAD DOVE. You stay away from those people.

(but seriously, where are you finding these fics? Because there is no reality where FFBJ has an ounce of excess fat, even on his perfect, perfect bottom)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]hija_paloma
2009-05-23 12:27 pm UTC (link)
Every time I try to reply seriously I am distracted by thoughts of FFBJ's perfect bottom. THANKS.

Also, I took Merlin to FL with me and made Doola watch the whole thing (practically had to tie her down and force her to watch, oh yup) and a) they're even prettier in high definition and b) whenever I saw a scene you or I have iconed, as above, my brain would be like, "Freeze frame! EARS OF FURY!" THANKS. and c) wow, that unicorn episode really is all about the metaphors, isn't it?

Sorry I strayed. I will try to be better in the future. It's just, there's not enough to read, and so I have to read everything, and then BAD THINGS HAPPEN!

(p.s. fic is at beta, FINALLY, sorry I am le slow.)

blah blah blah: it is possible I have missed you!

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