Dove ([info]hija_paloma) wrote,
2004-05-04 22:08:00
  • Mood: horny
  • Music: Tupelo Honey--Van Morrison
Dear Mr. Pitt,

I don't know how to break this to you gently, so I'm just going to come right out and say it.

I've just seen some screencaps from Troy, and Orlando looks manlier than you do.

Allow me to repeat that--Orlando Bloom looks manlier than you do.

This is not an easy feat. He rarely looks manlier than I do. I have seen manlier looking Brownie Scouts.

You need to have a word with your publicist.

Sincerely yours (and by "yours," please know that I mean "Orlando's"),
~Dove

p.s. Orlando? Call me. So hot. Want to touch the legs. Tease.

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  • 260 comments

[info]juniper200

May 4 2004, 20:46:33 UTC 8 years ago

Work the skirt, girlfriend!


"He said that? OhmiGAWD! That's so bogus! I'm totally not going to the prom with him!"

[info]hija_paloma

May 4 2004, 20:51:05 UTC 8 years ago

Re: Work the skirt, girlfriend!

*dies laughing*

Junie, I love you. That... yes. That's exactly what I'm saying, here. How Orlando, of all people, managed to look manly in pretty much the same outfit is beyond me... but *shrug* this is pretty concrete evidence that Brad... did not.

Look at his toes turned in, on his left foot... I used to do that when I was SIX. I also wore my hair in pigtails...

[info]fabu

8 years ago

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[info]firesignwriter

May 4 2004, 21:16:41 UTC 8 years ago

::drawing the battle lines::

Oh yeah? Well, my girly-man is gonna kick your girly-man's pert British arse.

We should be arch-nemeses, you and I. And I should read up on Troy so I know who actually wins what. But I already know my Achilles is a major Badass. Who just happens to look stunning in a skirt.

Still, I insist that your girly-boy is more girly than my girly-boy. As evidence:

MY girly-boy:

Winsome? Oh, no doubt. And those pouty lips would make any female superstar envious. But note the...the...um... Okay, this is a very girly-pic. My god, is he stirring my latent bisexual urges...

Ah-HAH! Musclemusclemuscle! And not even girly-muscle, despite the prettiness of the skirt.

But look here at your girly-boy, caught in a bit of a haughty huff:

I rest my case.

[info]hija_paloma

May 4 2004, 21:29:53 UTC 8 years ago

It is awfully pert, isn't it? *pinches*

And, er, not to spoil the ending for you, but it is a Greek tragedy. Everybody dies. Won't ruin it by telling you which of our girly boys kills the other, but--well, see the movie, read the book, right?

FFR, if you want to convince me that Orlando is not as manly as someone else, please do not post a picture of him about to draw a bow and kill someone. It makes my heart go pitty-pat, and does unprintable things to my other bits.

Wait, on second thought, post more of those *purr* Thanks ever so much, it's lovely :)

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[info]commodorified

May 4 2004, 22:22:41 UTC 8 years ago

Um.





Orlando? Adorable. Brad? Loved him forever.

And, I LIKE girly boys, make no mistake.

But. Manly, you asked for? No contest. Brad and Orlando wear "skirts". Sean Bean swathes his manly loins in a KILT. And I can smell the sweat from here.

[info]firesignwriter

May 4 2004, 22:24:58 UTC 8 years ago

I will never argue against Sean's thorough, complete, unfettered manliness.

He is an Aries, after all. ;)

Also? OMGHOTT.

This movie would have to suck worse than the most abominable sucking thing to make me hate it. Mark my words.

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[info]firesignwriter

May 5 2004, 21:16:57 UTC 8 years ago

deleted and reposted, cuz one of the pics was just too big...

I have returned with more evidence. And because I am a fair and honest KJ who knows she's gonna ultimately win, I even will share some of Brad's girlier moments that I've found.


Here, I feel, is a good example of how despite his prettiness, Brad really doesn't even make that great of a drag queen. I mean, seriously, Wesley Snipes was better. Just establishing that up front.

I thought I had enough evidence to outweigh that first, incriminating Brad-on-phone pic with these two, which show him in a much more masculine light...



But then I found this one, which damn near made me give up:


HOWEVER! Then I found Orli. Hee.





I was beginning to feel that at least there was enough proof that Orli is every bit the woman Brad is (and younger and more nubile, let's remember), when I found this attractive poster that sorta says it all...

Brad with the macho!furrowed brow! Bana looking at him (sorta at him -- shut up, it's close enough) like, "Whoa, fuck me, he's manly as hell." And Orli being all, "Helen, I have to tell you something... I...am a lesbian." "It's all right, Paris. I've always known." (Look! She's even feeling his breast!)

So I'd begun to feel that I had, indeed, won, and then I found this pic--

--and realized they're both girls, and that's all there is to it.

Still. Mine's more butch.

[info]hija_paloma

May 5 2004, 21:24:27 UTC 8 years ago

Re: deleted and reposted, cuz one of the pics was just too big...

laughing so hard I think my bronchi have completely collapsed... dear god... *wipes away tears*

That last picture? I am 95% confident that Brad is wearing Jennifer's shirt. Which is ok, because Orlando, though he doesn't look quite as... frilly... definitely looks like Ashton Kutcher's mentally challenged second cousin. *shudder*

I will grant you that the movie poster does appear to feature a lesbian kiss, but then I saw your boy, and holy god, KJ, he is a WOMAN. That's all there is to it. Phone picture? WOMAN.

Um, please ignore the pictures of the pretty pretty braids in Orli's hair. *wince*

Ok, they're both girls. Mine's prettier. And, yes, younger and more nubile.

[info]firesignwriter

8 years ago

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[info]clex_monkie89

May 5 2004, 23:44:48 UTC 8 years ago

Brad is the (WO)man.

I have read this thread and offer up only one little tidbit:


...

Yeah, I know.

[info]firesignwriter

May 6 2004, 00:14:18 UTC 8 years ago

Re: Brad is the (WO)man.

The man can't even look girly in a silver sequined dress!

Hee. I went on a Brad pic-hunt recently (for an Anti-Jack picspam thing -- which probably makes no sense if you're not in the PotC fandom, so nevermind) and found a bunch of pics that must've been from that shoot. He looked all extra-butch in those. Like, "Okay, I'll wear a dress, but only if I get to appear as though I've got an extra Y-chromosome."

::patpats him:: I think he looks pretteh as a boy and a girl.

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[info]artificialchaos

May 6 2004, 07:34:35 UTC 8 years ago

For your enlightenment:

Achilles is a homosexual.

[info]lithera

May 6 2004, 08:17:35 UTC 8 years ago

Well, actually, he was likely bi, if anything. Entirely different cultural standards and expectations and they likely didn't think of it in terms at all like we would.

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[info]guede_mazaka

May 6 2004, 09:53:55 UTC 8 years ago

Right. That's it. You're being friended.

Also, everyone stop saying 'crossover'! You know what happens when I hear that word!

Ai. Summer movie season's gonna kill me for sure.

[info]hija_paloma

May 6 2004, 17:50:20 UTC 8 years ago

Out of curiosity, why haven't we done the whole friending thing before?

Must warn you, though, I'm not usually especially witty.

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8 years ago

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[info]tacks

May 6 2004, 14:20:38 UTC 8 years ago

*marries the thread*

I harbour suspicions, however, that Patrocolus might turn out to be the girliest.
I'm 99% sure this is him. *looks sideways*



Yup.

[info]hija_paloma

May 6 2004, 17:55:27 UTC 8 years ago

Definitely the girliest.

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[info]marquesate

May 7 2004, 01:58:57 UTC 8 years ago

Dead

Well... thank you.... *drawled voice*

It is barely 10 am and I'm at work and HORNY!

*drools over over the thread*

My oh my oh my, must see soon!

[info]elessil

May 7 2004, 07:04:04 UTC 8 years ago

Why Achilleus is at least bi...

He cannot be a mere homosexual, 'cause he has a son. Neoptolemus by name. Now, hear the full story of his manliness: While being a "beardless youth" by the time they leave for the war of troy, ten years later (at the war's end) his son is old enough to fight in the final skirmish.... Oh, we love Homer's and Vergil's continuicy!

The beginning of the Ilias goes like this "Muse, sing to me of the wrath of Achilleus, Peleus' son..." Right, it starts with Achilleus being *really* pissed of and everyone quivering in fear of him. You know why? Agamemmnon took his (female) lover Briseis away from him. Bad boy. So we can conclude that he is, at least, bi. Even if he had something with Patroclos.


Now, I probably shouldn't tell this, but here's the story of how Achilleus ended up in troy in the first place. He didn't want to go there, or rather, his mommy didn't want him to. So, she hid him among the girls, because he was all beardless and pretty. Well, long story short, good Ulysses got another hint from the gods, threw swords among the girls, screamed they were being attacked. The girls cried and back of, Achilleus took a sword. Gotcha.

However, Paris managed, while being the king's son, to be employed as a shepherd. Smartie all the way :)

And now, I hope oyu don't mind a bit picspam of the boys being both manly and girly.






Point being? So they might be girly... does it matter?

[info]hija_paloma

May 8 2004, 08:21:03 UTC 8 years ago

Re: Why Achilleus is at least bi...

My interest in mythology started at a very young age, with a book about the Norse gods. It's stuck with me all this time, and I'm quite familiar with the legend of Troy, having read the Iliad and the Odyssey in fifth grade.

I do thank you kindly for the picspam, even if it is a bit... biased? The picture of Brad having a sulking fit in front of his mom comes close to sealing my argument :)

I would ask you to be more careful with your wording, though. The phrases "at least bi" and "a mere homosexual," although I am sure you didn't mean them to, imply some really awful things, and I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about what you're saying. I also wouldn't want a flame war starting on a post that was intended merely to make one girl laugh.

And in conclusion, no, it doesn't matter a whit... I like Orlando, girly, manly, elf, or marine. And KJ has this weird obsession with Brad... whatever! As I said before, it's all about the pretty. And this movie is bringing the pretty in spades.

[info]elessil

8 years ago

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[info]hishighnesshiko

May 7 2004, 11:17:24 UTC 8 years ago

For everyone convinced of Sean Bean's masculinity, he wasn't always so. . . http://www.sentai.org/~hyel/dragbase/info/dragpics/seanbean.jpg

[info]littledrop

May 8 2004, 01:21:19 UTC 8 years ago

*dies*

Dude! That's just wrong!

[info]daroos

May 7 2004, 15:35:57 UTC 8 years ago

On the subject of Girly men...

Just saw an interview with Hugh Jackman on a daytime show... First off, ye gods is he tall. Second off... Hugh doing high kicks. *blinks* REALLY high-kicks. Like Rockette's type High kicks.

Just thought to mention it.

[info]hija_paloma

May 8 2004, 08:44:18 UTC 8 years ago

Re: On the subject of Girly men...

You can't mention something like that and not bring the picspam to back it up! What are you, some sort of demon???

I will freely admit that Hugh Jackman, having played one of the manliest men I've ever seen (Wolverine) is still pretty freakin' girly. Apparently, I have a "thing" for girly men. Who knew?

[info]daroos

8 years ago

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8 years ago

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[info]aligoestonz

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[info]neongreenleaf

May 7 2004, 20:04:57 UTC 8 years ago

Proof that something productive gets done on LJ. I think we should declare them all hermaphrodites and call it a day.

Hey that ryhmes!

And...um...picture!



He looks kind of girly if you ask me.

[info]hija_paloma

May 8 2004, 08:55:26 UTC 8 years ago

*panting*

Girly? Maybe. Delectable? Definitely.

Thank you.

[info]juniper200

8 years ago

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[info]erewyn

May 7 2004, 21:27:10 UTC 8 years ago

in case more picspam evidence is necessary


[info]hija_paloma

May 8 2004, 08:59:14 UTC 8 years ago

That picture disturbs me on so many levels, I'm going to try to force myself to forget it. But thanks for following the rules, anyway :)

[info]firesignwriter

8 years ago

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[info]elessil

May 8 2004, 03:08:58 UTC 8 years ago

Joining KayJay's cause... Picspam!

Here comes the comparision (AKA why Orli is girlier than Brad)

here we have Brad riding a horse carriage:


Orli doing the same:


Simply comparing their eyes:



Orli: (sorry, only had a shot witht he blue lenses)


Wearing ugly orange glasses:


Orli trying the same, failing miserable.


Getting ready to fight... need I comment?




And because it's so fun, generic picspam. Compare.




Orli wearing kohl:

Orli's favourite dress:

[info]hija_paloma

May 8 2004, 09:25:50 UTC 8 years ago

Re: Joining KayJay's cause... Picspam!

Oh my god the carriages... I think I lost a lung. Welcome to the ring...

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8 years ago

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[info]the_stowaway

May 10 2004, 08:45:22 UTC 8 years ago

*drops link*

Pitt predicts men will wear skirts

*runs*

[info]frickyring

May 10 2004, 12:12:42 UTC 8 years ago

Sorry to interfere, but I reached this thread from a friend, and if you were looking for an impartial (an unknown) point of view, I must say that Orly is much less girlish.
Have a look of Brad's photo whit the mobile. He's so... mannered! Not only the posture, but the way of turning the feet, the expression of the face... everything!
And Orly, the only thing that could be said against him is the lovely curly hair. At least in that photo it looks a little bit girlish, but the rest of him... just so lovely! I have no words.
Well, I don't have more to say. I just needed to express my opinion, and it's always good to see some photos of such a gorgeous boy, thanks.

[info]shebit

May 11 2004, 05:18:07 UTC 8 years ago

Thank you so much for starting this debate. Reading it has taken a while, but it was worth it for all of the glorious picspam.

I'm now off to find out what on Earth this whole Anti-Jack thing is about.

Oh, and as far as the debate goes, they're both big girls, but Orli is my big girl, and that's what counts. And Paris is far prettier than Helen.

I've only really found Pitt attractive in his girlier-looking roles - namely in Interview and Legends of the Fall - while Orli is always extremely easy on the eye.

[info]hija_paloma

May 23 2004, 14:57:34 UTC 8 years ago

Mmmmmmm picspam. I swear, I never had any idea it would grow to such proportions. The AntiJack thing is worth looking into; especially, check out [info]guede_mazaka's work with Jacques. She's a genius, you know.

I'm glad you're on my side, but you're mistaken on one fine, but important, point--Orli is mine. And always will be. SOrry, darling.

However, if it's any consolation, I love your icon.

[info]shebit

8 years ago

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Anonymous

May 23 2004, 05:17:42 UTC 8 years ago

Lolita

Does anyone has a pic of Achilles making love to Briseis, where he is naked and you can see his glorious derriere perfil? =D

[fingers crossed]

[info]fiftybelowzero

May 25 2004, 00:47:37 UTC 8 years ago

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life reading this thread.

And...

Despite the omgsogirly!!!1 picture of Brad discussing Prom on is cellphone, my vote for most girlyness goes to Orlando.

It's the horse-carriage pic. ^^;;

[info]sine_que_non767

June 14 2004, 13:04:38 UTC 7 years ago

This thread is just...*dies* Here via [info]loony_moony. Thanks for the massive laughs and the gorgeous pics. I vote Orli for most girly, really. It had to be done. It's the cheekbones.
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