Okay, Merlin fans have just lived through a two-part episode in which Uther was married to a troll.

There were a lot of things to love about the second half of this episode--Merlin's smile, Arthur defying his father to save Merlin's life, the beginning to the split between Uther and Arthur, Arthur starting to come into his own as a GROWNUP BOY and the king we all knew we'd come to love some day, instead of spoiled Prince Pratface, did I mention Merlin's smile...

Despite that, I can honestly say that was the worst 84 minutes of television I've ever watched, and if I hadn't been watching it with someone, I might have got through part 1, but no way in hell would I have made it to the OMG HUGGING WTF WAS THAT at the end of part 2.

The "humor" in this episode was unspeakably horrible--setting aside that it just wasn't funny--fart jokes are not, in fact, the height of wit--it was so misogynistic that I actually checked to see if kripke had been involved with this episode (sadly, no). Fat people are dirty! Ugly women have to trick men into marrying them! Rape is hilarious, for a girl or a boy! If she's not beautiful, she's an "it!"

Toward the end of the cringefest, I realised what it reminded me of--Shallow Hal--and that might be why I hated it so much, instead of just being annoyed that yet another show felt the need to spend an hour and a half telling me how I am not human. Because when the girls at work wanted me to watch Shallow Hal with them, I said, "Watch Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow make fun of fat people for an hour and a half. Wow, uh, thanks, but no thanks?" and I was assured that this movie was, in fact, the opposite of that.

It is not. Shallow Hal is about fat acceptance like Joss Whedon is about feminism. Except worse.

And I wouldn't have been surprised at this coming from Supernatural. In fact, if we had this exact same episode next week it wouldn't stand out at all. But I wasn't expecting it from Merlin, and I feel like I got a little blindsided by that.

You see that face Castiel is making in my icon? I've been making that face since about 8:30 tonight (which is when we sat down to watch).

( Cut for spoilers and fisting. )

Re: next week: Listen, kripke, I was first in line to defend your use of fangirls in The Monster At The End Of This Book, but you are getting carried away, I think. You're on notice. First, it is unseemly to mock the people you make your living off of (gently, and with love, I will accept, but be careful, I fear you go too far). Secondly, don't be Stephen King. Don't get all carried away with how meta and brilliant and OMG FOURTH WALLBUSTIN' you are and ruin your reasonably compelling story.

I love fandom.

And one of my favorite things about fandom is threads like this one. (For context: In the entry, lamardeuse recs chibirhm's fic and says, "this is apparently the writer's first foray into fanfic, to which I say WHERE HAS SHE BEEN ALL MY LIFE?")

Setting aside the wank, the one-uppery, the fail of every flavor, the line-crossing, and the unending stupid, at the end of the day, fandom brings together a bunch of people who've always been told they weren't quite right, and encourages them to sit around telling each other (sincerely) how totally awesome they are.

It bears noting that there are easily half a dozen people on my flist of whom I have been, at one time or another, in fannish awe of the "omg she knows my name" variety, and I have met nearly all of them, and found them to be generally fantastic people who are a little off and a lot nerdy and in short, exactly as awesome (and exactly as intimidating) as all my other friends.

In the good way, and the bad way. But mostly the good way, which engenders another WOW.

( Minor issues, each with a But... Spoilery for 505, Fallen Idol. )

...you know, it's kind of sad that I've gotten to the point where misogyny/race issues on this show can be categorized as minor. I mean, all things relative and all, but geez, guys.

With all that out of the way:

Y'all, can we talk about how AWESOME Dean Winchester is? Can we? Because he is. And I'm gonna.

( Cut for spoilers, length, and gushing. )

1. Anytime your justification for anything ever includes the argument, "but that's how they do it in porn!" you lose. Instantly, forever, at everything.

2. Nothing in this world ever happened, is happening, or will happen on accident. You know why? Because it's BY ACCIDENT.

3. Oh my god enough with the random werefics.

4. ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING: Rape is not dub!con. Rape is rape. Or non-con. It is NOT dub!con. The "dub" stands for "dubious," meaning that there are some issues or questions around the consent given, but that ultimately consent IS given. When the consent is NOT given, it is non-consensual. Even if it's only ATTEMPTED rape, you still don't get to call it dub!con. Asshole.

4a. Icon used with grate irony, yayz.

I just watched the secret, actual season finale of Bones (I thought the brain tumor episode was it but surprise! There was more!) and I have Thoughts.

So, the episode in short:
( Cut even though I'm the only one who watches it, because That's What You Do. )

Two things that bothered me about this episode (aside from poor Caroline):

1. This is a hell of a cheat to get out of actually DEALING with the baby issue. Seriously, that's a kripke-worthy cheat.

2. STOP BRINGING ZACH BACK. It really fucks with my brain, okay? I love him! I always loved him! And the way he left was painfully stupid and beyond implausible and hateful beyond belief, but you have got to stop bringing him back. Especially as sweet, young, innocent, first-season Zach! With emo hair and all! GOD. Let him go, so I can mourn him and move on! I could learn to love Sweets like I loved Zach if you would only stop showing me how much more loveable Zach is! Was! Whatever I don't even know anymore!

3. This show has got some Issues. I mean, after power-watching all four seasons of Supernatural, it looks pretty fucking benign by comparison, but then even Whedon looks good when compared to kripke. But still, all this bs about men being willing to kill for you being so romantic is, uh, not. It's scary and fucked-up, and then there's Booth repeatedly referring to Bones as a possession, and let's not even touch the whole long-standing concept that Bones is All Fucked Up As A Woman because she values silly things like intelligence, competence, and accomplishment over romance and feelings and babies! They even repeatedly refer to her as a "cold fish!" But that's okay because Booth has taught her to be a woman so now she wants a baby! Like a real woman! MOTHERFUCK.

I have to go take Sophie to the vet, and then maybe drink heavily for a bit.

This is one of a handful of posts I've been wanting to make since I had dinner with Kirrily & Mel back during SXSW, and reading through some of the comments on this post, addressing Kirrily's keynote speech at OSCON, this morning, I cannot sit on it any longer, so here goes.

I have been pretty vocally excited about Dreamwidth since it was just a "hmm, what if" in denise's LJ. I moved over here as soon as I was able, I support Dreamwidth financially and ideologically and I think you should, too. (Note about OTW: I am fully behind you, OTW, I am, and if I leave you out of this discussion, it is only because I don't know as much about how you work, or how I should/could be using your service as someone who doesn't actually create any transformative works anymore. But still, I am in favor of you.)

Why should you support Dreamwidth: reason #1: Dreamwidth is an aggressively feminist venture.

YES THAT IS IMPORTANT. I don't shop at Walmart because I don't like their business ethics. I don't shop at ANY pet store that sells dogs or cats because they are what keeps puppy mills in operation. I don't shop at Amazon because of how they deal with LGBT authors/works. I don't shop at iTunes because they support DRM. I don't give money to UNICEF because of their association with the Boy Scouts, who discriminate against gays.

The fact is, money talks. And when you give money to an organization that is sexist, racist, homophobic, or otherwise ethically broken, you are supporting that dogma. You are saying, "Yeah, I'm on board with this. I am totally fine with you only hiring straight white men, and I want to give you money to continue doing that." (Obv. disclaimer: Yes, there are times when you have no alternatives. I get this. This is not one of those times.)

( Cut for sorta lengthy discussion of the article, the comments, sexism, and your dollars at work. )

Give your money, your financial and vocal support, to Dreamwidth, to OTW, and use it to say, "Yes. I support your ideology. I think sexism is wrong."

ETA: Elizabeth did your homework for me. Good things come to those who are lazy! Go, read, be enlightened.

I'm rewatching SPN again, starting from the pilot, and it's... interesting.

First thing I noticed: first season Jared Padalecki is TINY and YOUNG and VERY VERY YOUNG AND TINY. Jensen (the Dean one) has also matured a bit since then but not nearly as much as Jared (the Sam one).

Second thing I noticed: the misogyny really is as bad as I thought. In fact, it's worse--I was under the impression that it had gotten much much worse as the series went on, and now I don't think that's actually true, so much as that there's a cumulative effect, and by the umpty-billionth time you see some bitch slut get what she deserves, probably with no fucking pants on, you're already a hair's breadth away from flipping your shit and going on some sort of rampage. Like reading Far Side comics, but with the opposite effect.

And I had been thinking, maybe it's just me, maybe I'm too sensitive, or looking for things to get mad about, but it's not, so I feel better about that. Kinda.

Third thing I noticed: holy damn, this season starts out slow. Until we pick up the YED arc (we're not there yet), it's all MotW and blah blah saving people hunting things and I can't speak for the first-timer, but having digested four years of arc and being eager to revisit the beginning and re-contextualise it, I am BORED SILLY with all this Hunting stuff (which, ironically, used to be what the show was about).

So... I'm making a rec? I think I even remember how to do this.

I'll start with this: Even if you're not in this fandom, this is a very very good story.

The story is Warlock, by aftertherain. It is nominally slash, Merlin/Arthur, although not explicitly so (the only touching at all takes place in shared dreams OH HEY THERE ARE SHARED DREAMS IN THIS FIC) and the focus is very much not on the romance so much as the relationship, which is... complicated.

The tl;dr version of why you should read this: Arthur discovers that Merlin is a sorcerer, has him imprisoned, uses him for a weapon, and sets him free. It is the story of how Arthur learns to become king and so much more than that.

( I'm having a hard time articulating why I loved this story without blathering on, so behind the cut: blather. )

...it seems like making recs used to be a lot shorter and less involved. Maybe I have forgotten how to do it.

Not a secret.

Not edgy, not new, not subversive transgressive, not a secret.

Not shameful.

So here's the thing. And let me disclaim this by saying that I am a fan of Supernatural, in spite of its glaring, occasionally painful-to-watch flaws, and I am a HUGE fan of Castiel, and I think Misha Collins is talented, intelligent and charming, so I guess I'm a fan of him, too.

So here's the thing:





This interview is horrible. It's cute, they're in Australia talking about Texas and laughing together and talking about where they want the show to go, and it's framed by the interviewer in the studio talking about how female characters don't survive long on Supernatural because of the female fans. Because, you know, bitches be crazy! Crazy fans don't like it when girls touch THEIR men!

Which is bad enough... and then the actors agree with her. At about 1 minute in, Misha starts talking (and Jared chimes in to agree) about how the SPN fandom is sexist, and we hate women, and that's why female characters don't last.

I can't even fit my mouth around how much BULLSHIT that is. Yes, there is misogyny in the fandom. And yes, it's good that the fans should be called on that. But there's this saying, something about a mote and a beam and you'll put your eye out, and I think the rebuttal is best summed up thusly:

Misha, you're smart enough to know better. Watch this vid and tell me, which of these characters--the victims, the sluts, or the evil slutty victims--am I meant to embrace and identify with? What happened to Jo? Why do the writers/producers feel the need to kill--in the most sexualised way possible--any female character with any kind of power?

If you can watch that vid, which is nothing more than a collection of clips showing the treatment of female characters on Supernatural, and honestly tell me that the FANS are misogynistic? You're in deep denial.

Remember how I was saying about how FANDOM IS NOT A SECRET?

EVEN RPS?

Allow me to prove.

( Large image, sry. )

(What I was looking for? This macro:


I fail at remembering.

Dear Merlin Fandom,

Oh my god. You know who is totally fat? Bradley James. No, I know! It's crazy how he walks around looking like a totally normal person, pretty standard 20-something white guy, and yet he is somehow secretly a giant fucking whale, only noticeable when he is wearing eleventy jillion pounds of armor and padding. He must be taking lessons from David Hewlett or something, amirite?

( Cut for MORBID OBESITY. )

It's come to my attention that sometimes, people don't REALISE they're fat unless we ridicule and shame them, so I have a super-awesome idea. Let's make sure to mention in every single fic we write about how Arthur is fat, or Bradley is fat, or they were fat as babies, or they're fatter than Colin Morgan/Merlin but he loves him anyway blah blah JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE.

It was bad enough in SGA, and David Hewlett actually has, like, fat cells in his body. Keep it up in Merlin and I'm relegating you ALL to Gossip Girl fandom.

DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT.

Dear Supernatural fandom,

CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

See, here's the thing. Kripke did not just "out us" to the whole world. The world? Already knows about fandom. And you know how I know that? Because FANDOM JUST GOT A WHOLE DAMN SCENE IN A PRIME-TIME TV SHOW. Okay? So, the cat, it is out of the bag. And it has been for, like, fucking decades.

Remember, you did not invent fandom. Even the ST:TOS fans did not invent fandom, and IIRC, there were whole fucking EPISODES of that show written by fans. Way back in the day, people were writing Iago/Othello slash, and you know what, they probably cried in their beer about how totally oppressed and transgressive and blahdeblah they were, too. And--okay, they might have had a point. BUT: It is the year 2009, people, Barack Obama is president, fucking Iowa has admitted that gays are people, and scientist are making big strides in the field of teleportation. I'm not saying life is perfect, but we've come a long way since witch hunts and the black death.

Kripke did not condemn us, or expose us, or betray us. All he did was wave and say "HI SLASH FANS."

Reeeeeeelax.

Jesus.

Repetitively,
Dove

p.s. THEY KNOW ABOUT RPS TOO. YES, ALL OF THEM.

p.p.s. Re: next week: OMG JOHN WINCHESTER YOU BASTARD I KNEW IT OMG.

p.p.p.s. did you notice how super-hot my SPN boyfriend is when he's falling for Dean, in the biblical sense? I DID. I also noticed that each week he gets a little further from god and closer to Dean. Oh Hottie McWingfic, I WORRY FOR YOU. Your dad is going to be way pissed if you're not careful. Plz do not end up a feather pillow, I would be sad.

subtitle: holy shit, a fannish post!

So, you guys remember that show I'm Totally Not Watching, right? (By the way, more of you need to join me in Not Watching this show, I'm looking at you, Doola.) Anyway.

( Merlin, meta, many mumbling mice are making midnight music in the moonlight--mighty nice. )

So, this morning I read a bodyswap fic, followed by a time loop fic, and I finally realised what the deal is here.

This fandom of mine, right, the show has essentially two heroes with a supporting ensemble cast. Hero 1 is a dark-haired, slightly awkward slender man with ridiculously elfin ears and shockingly pretty eyes, who is very charming but hiding a huge secret that could get him killed. Hero 2 is a fair-haired, muscular man with a strong jaw and, of course, shockingly pretty eyes, who is abrasive and arrogant but fiercely loyal to and protective of his people. They are both very smart and very brave, though each usually chooses to exhibit only one of the two traits (except in front of each other). They have an inappropriately close relationship, considering their social environment.

There are strong roles for women, although the show has (to date) failed to do anything too impressive with them, which is kind of a shame, but does leave the door open for about a bazillion fics in which the women do, you know, interesting stuff. Although there are some implied romantic overtones on the show, no female character exists as the love interest of a male character, and frankly, none of them seem all that interested.

The show is set in a beautiful city, in a time and place far from where we live now, and because of an ancient deus ex machina, magic is possible. Again, leaving the door open for a bazillion fics in which--well, if you can imagine it, you can justify it. Time travel and AUs are canon. Also, monsters.

Basically, the only difference between SGA and Merlin is that this time, Rodney's the prince and John's the wizard.

So yeah, Doola, I think you need to watch Merlin, and I think if you like SGA, you'll like Merlin (just remember: it's an AU Camelot), and apparently I'm really, really slow to realize the obvious.