Re: tonight's Supernatural: This is SO MUCH BULLSHIT there are no words. None. I can't even. What the fuck, kripke. You go to hell and you die.

I'm really sorry about your impotence or mommy issues or WHATEVER IT IS that makes you hate the penisless among us, but man, you need HELP.

(Comments may contain spoilers, I don't even care.)

ETA: Unbelievably, since I posted that, it got worse.

1. An art! By way of Doola, who sends me all manner of delicious things and for which I repay her with Jensen/Harley slash: Facilis Descensus Averno, G, Castiel, by acerbus_instar.

I will tell you honestly that I have been largely "MEH" about SPN art, with a couple of exceptions--Pondy did a couple of good pieces (although tends strongly toward the Wincest--which does not make her work less good, just less to my taste), obviously there's Pentapus's Castiel (SEE ICON I WANT TO PUT HIM IN MY POCKETS) but mostly, if there's great stuff out there, I haven't seen it*. Also, I hate the color orange.

Bearing both of those in mind: this Castiel piece is my new desktop background. I find it compelling.

2. A beta! Any takers for a little bit of Sam POV gen, angsting about Castiel and Dean and Winchester Trust Issues? It's about 500 words right now and will probably not end up longer than 1000. Just need someone to see if it's a) coherent and b) not overtly in contradiction to canon.



*If you know of great SPN art out there that I haven't seen? OMFG LINK ME ALREADY.

You see that face Castiel is making in my icon? I've been making that face since about 8:30 tonight (which is when we sat down to watch).

( Cut for spoilers and fisting. )

Re: next week: Listen, kripke, I was first in line to defend your use of fangirls in The Monster At The End Of This Book, but you are getting carried away, I think. You're on notice. First, it is unseemly to mock the people you make your living off of (gently, and with love, I will accept, but be careful, I fear you go too far). Secondly, don't be Stephen King. Don't get all carried away with how meta and brilliant and OMG FOURTH WALLBUSTIN' you are and ruin your reasonably compelling story.

The thing is, the episode was totally ageist, I agree, and there was no Castiel at all, AT ALL, which is a wholly unacceptable level of Castiel to have, btw, none: not okay, and I am not sure that they got the whole disability thing right, but at least they failed FAR less than I expected them to, but this: this must be said.

Dean Winchester, I love you. I love you and your desperate, easy, open love for your family, and your willingness to say "Screw pride, fuck being right, forget machismo: I love you and you matter to me and I need you." I don't know how, being brought up by Bobby and John Winchester, you EVER learned to be that way, but I love it, whole-heartedly and unashamedly.

In the good way, and the bad way. But mostly the good way, which engenders another WOW.

( Minor issues, each with a But... Spoilery for 505, Fallen Idol. )

...you know, it's kind of sad that I've gotten to the point where misogyny/race issues on this show can be categorized as minor. I mean, all things relative and all, but geez, guys.

With all that out of the way:

Y'all, can we talk about how AWESOME Dean Winchester is? Can we? Because he is. And I'm gonna.

( Cut for spoilers, length, and gushing. )

Is Leverage on hiatus or something?

I'm not watching it. It's just, you know. I ran out of other shows to get caught up on (except Psych and Eureka, which I am saving) and I don't feel like rewatching Bones yet and I just want to know what happens.

But not with Nate and Sophie, I could give a crap about Nate. Sophie's awesome, don't get me wrong, but the thing is, she's mostly awesome because she has NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in Nate's bullshit, and I know that is going to be changing soon, because I've seen television before.

It's just been really interesting to watch the relationships between Hardison, Elliott, and Parker develop, especially as Mom & Dad got all caught up in their bullshit drama-llamaing and the kids were left to fend for themselves.

SHUT UP OKAY WHATEVER DON'T YOU JUDGE ME.

In other news, to absolutely nobody's surprise, I went running--not crawling, but flat-out arms-wide OMG YOU'RE BACK YOU'RE BACK running--back to Supernatural. In my defense, he fixed the Big Ugly--and he fixed Castiel--and he fixed Dean--and then he made Misha Collins say "orgy."

Like I ever had a chance of resisting that shit.

Hands up everyone who wanted to see Castiel turn into yet another bitch-hating, woman-scorning kripke clone a la Dean Winchester?

...yeah, me neither.

Congratulations, kripke, you have now officially destroyed everything I didn't hate about your show.

Note to Misha Collins: We talked about this, remember, after Karla? You simply cannot be that hungry. And if you are, call me. I will totally float you a loan until you can get a non-degrading job.

Seriously, there is a very good chance this will be my last episode. Augh. AUGH.

JESUS CHRIST GRANDPA WHAT DID YOU READ ME THIS THING FOR?

Spoilers in comments. Vague for now, may get more specific.

I can't believe we've done it again.

Light as a Feather, Stiff as a... what?; by doolabug and hija_paloma, rated R for sex and language, warning: crack. This is another vignette set in what Doola is now making me call the "Smoothie 'verse." Apparently, there will be more.

Now I'm sorry.

Link to Doola's LJ.

More Like Guidelines, by hija_paloma. Rated R for sex and language. Spoilers through season 4. Warnings/notes: This fic is an exploration of Dean's relationship with god, faith, and religion, viewed through the lens of his relationship with Castiel, and as such may offend some people. Also, there are some minor contradictions to canon found in the first section; sorry, I wrote it during season 1. THAT IS HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WRITING THIS. Thanks to doolabug for beta and support and to monkeypuzzle for cheerleading and telling me it was okay to do this.

(I always knew I was going to hell, anyway.)

Anybody have the quote where Castiel tells Dean that he helps him because he is worthy and deserving of love, and not because the angels need him for their agenda? Or even remember what episode it's from? IMDb was zero help.

An Angel's Single Feather, by doolabug and hija_paloma; Dean/Castiel, rated for language, warnings: crack, messin' with Texas. In which Dean and Castiel discuss avians and apoideans. All characters herein belong to the CW, although they probably won't want them back like this.

(Babies are a link between angels and man. (Author Unknown))

Subject line from an email I sent this morning but it feels kind of perfect for this post. I offer... no apology or explanation, because what could I say that would make this better?

(Also, yes, I am aware that Dean's personification of the Impala as female is problematic at best, and misogynistic at worst. Uh, sorry. In my defense, there is no vampire bukkake.)

Once, in the Future: for Monkey, SPN/Merlin crossover, Dean/Arthur w/ Arthur/Merlin and just a hint at Dean/Castiel, NC-17, depressingly spoiler-free (although, for those who care, this is set post-Lucifer Rising). All characters herein belong to the CW and, uh, nearly 2 millenia of British legend. You've come a long way, boys. Technically, I suppose Will belongs to the BBC.

(Nobody gets my jokes.)

I'm rewatching SPN again, starting from the pilot, and it's... interesting.

First thing I noticed: first season Jared Padalecki is TINY and YOUNG and VERY VERY YOUNG AND TINY. Jensen (the Dean one) has also matured a bit since then but not nearly as much as Jared (the Sam one).

Second thing I noticed: the misogyny really is as bad as I thought. In fact, it's worse--I was under the impression that it had gotten much much worse as the series went on, and now I don't think that's actually true, so much as that there's a cumulative effect, and by the umpty-billionth time you see some bitch slut get what she deserves, probably with no fucking pants on, you're already a hair's breadth away from flipping your shit and going on some sort of rampage. Like reading Far Side comics, but with the opposite effect.

And I had been thinking, maybe it's just me, maybe I'm too sensitive, or looking for things to get mad about, but it's not, so I feel better about that. Kinda.

Third thing I noticed: holy damn, this season starts out slow. Until we pick up the YED arc (we're not there yet), it's all MotW and blah blah saving people hunting things and I can't speak for the first-timer, but having digested four years of arc and being eager to revisit the beginning and re-contextualise it, I am BORED SILLY with all this Hunting stuff (which, ironically, used to be what the show was about).

So here's the thing. And let me disclaim this by saying that I am a fan of Supernatural, in spite of its glaring, occasionally painful-to-watch flaws, and I am a HUGE fan of Castiel, and I think Misha Collins is talented, intelligent and charming, so I guess I'm a fan of him, too.

So here's the thing:





This interview is horrible. It's cute, they're in Australia talking about Texas and laughing together and talking about where they want the show to go, and it's framed by the interviewer in the studio talking about how female characters don't survive long on Supernatural because of the female fans. Because, you know, bitches be crazy! Crazy fans don't like it when girls touch THEIR men!

Which is bad enough... and then the actors agree with her. At about 1 minute in, Misha starts talking (and Jared chimes in to agree) about how the SPN fandom is sexist, and we hate women, and that's why female characters don't last.

I can't even fit my mouth around how much BULLSHIT that is. Yes, there is misogyny in the fandom. And yes, it's good that the fans should be called on that. But there's this saying, something about a mote and a beam and you'll put your eye out, and I think the rebuttal is best summed up thusly:

Misha, you're smart enough to know better. Watch this vid and tell me, which of these characters--the victims, the sluts, or the evil slutty victims--am I meant to embrace and identify with? What happened to Jo? Why do the writers/producers feel the need to kill--in the most sexualised way possible--any female character with any kind of power?

If you can watch that vid, which is nothing more than a collection of clips showing the treatment of female characters on Supernatural, and honestly tell me that the FANS are misogynistic? You're in deep denial.

I cannot believe I had to be prompted by Captain Jack Harkness to do this... but I have a rec for you! And it does not suck, unlike Captain Hart's epic saga.

Doola has committed pornery, and per aeternitas blames me. All I did was beg a little, she's ridiculously easy.

The story is Supernatural RPS (Junie, you can't call it Padackles because it's a threesome, HA.) set after "the t-shirt con." If you don't know what that is, don't worry, there's video at her post. If you do know, you'll understand why that inspired her to write fic about Jared and Misha after the con.

It's Doola, so you've got some manhandling, some voyeurism/exhibitionism, some implied threesomeish action impending, and, I'm not even kidding, implied wingfic. But not like that.

All the World's a Stage, Jared/Misha(/Jensen), NC-17.

She has promised me a sequel. I intend to hold her to this.

So, I just went off on a little rant about how, let's say, disenchanted with SPN fandom I am, which reminded me: I have fic to post!

This was meant to be part of an epic exploration of what happens when Ruby and Castiel push Dean and Sam to their respective breaking points, and Dean is trying to avert the Apocalypse by fighting demons and doing what Castiel tells him to while Sam is... trying to avert the Apocalypse by fighting demons and doing what Ruby tells him to (and being Antichristical).

Instead, you get a tiny snippet of SPN gen-fic.

Oh yeah--I wrote this six months ago, and it's even more canonical now than it was then. I can't decide if Kripke's predictable, or Monkeypuzzle is a mole.

( Dean, Castiel, Gen, no spoilers, no swears. )

Dear Supernatural fandom,

CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

See, here's the thing. Kripke did not just "out us" to the whole world. The world? Already knows about fandom. And you know how I know that? Because FANDOM JUST GOT A WHOLE DAMN SCENE IN A PRIME-TIME TV SHOW. Okay? So, the cat, it is out of the bag. And it has been for, like, fucking decades.

Remember, you did not invent fandom. Even the ST:TOS fans did not invent fandom, and IIRC, there were whole fucking EPISODES of that show written by fans. Way back in the day, people were writing Iago/Othello slash, and you know what, they probably cried in their beer about how totally oppressed and transgressive and blahdeblah they were, too. And--okay, they might have had a point. BUT: It is the year 2009, people, Barack Obama is president, fucking Iowa has admitted that gays are people, and scientist are making big strides in the field of teleportation. I'm not saying life is perfect, but we've come a long way since witch hunts and the black death.

Kripke did not condemn us, or expose us, or betray us. All he did was wave and say "HI SLASH FANS."

Reeeeeeelax.

Jesus.

Repetitively,
Dove

p.s. THEY KNOW ABOUT RPS TOO. YES, ALL OF THEM.

p.p.s. Re: next week: OMG JOHN WINCHESTER YOU BASTARD I KNEW IT OMG.

p.p.p.s. did you notice how super-hot my SPN boyfriend is when he's falling for Dean, in the biblical sense? I DID. I also noticed that each week he gets a little further from god and closer to Dean. Oh Hottie McWingfic, I WORRY FOR YOU. Your dad is going to be way pissed if you're not careful. Plz do not end up a feather pillow, I would be sad.

Mel, I was weak. I tried. I held out, I did, I struggled and fought and until Thursday morning at 1am, I was doing pretty good.

And then I crumbled like a cheap, stale cookie.

I'm sorry. But--it was worth it. And I would do it again. And I am being punished, because now I have to wait FOUR FREAKING MONTHS for Kripke to FIX IT OMG.

( Spoilers. Evil, horrible, how could you do this to us after all we've given you spoilers. )

Anacondas are a perfect killing machine, guys. Hold your tighter than your true love, and you get the privilege of hearing your bones break before the pressure causes your veins to essplode.

Esssssploooooode.

Tiny drabbloid tag for Jus en Bello. No, not a tag, this is set before the episode, but deals with one tiny thing that happened during it. Whatever you call that? That's what this is.

( Gen, Sam & Dean, PG-13 )